Hebrews 6

(10) God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
It feels as if my life has been a consistent cycle of cutting and re-attaching myself to the true vine. One moment I am bearing fruit but for reason that I am to blame or not my life can turn for the worse, even then i'll persevere. I'll eventually develop an attitude in which I become frustrated at the silence of God. It's in these moments I'll reflect back in a pivotal scene from the movie 'Silence' as our main character is at his most broken state.

Father Sebastião Rodrigues: Lord, I fought against your silence

Voice of Jesus: [voice over] I suffered beside you. I was never silent

Father Sebastião Rodrigues: But even if God had been silent my whole life, to this very day, every I do, everything I've done...Speaks of Him
[pause]
It was in the Silence that I heard Your voice.

I guess I am myself to blame because it's only been very recent in which i'll share my spiritual battles with others, so at least I have some form of support now?

Hebrews 5

7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 
Maybe I haven't been growing with God or feeling numb because I rebel against him. I'm not honest with Lifegroup and don't go into detail my specific struggles this I am rebelling against God Galatians 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ I consistently neglect God's Church, not in an evil intended manner but more so out of fear and prejudice. So when I pray to God, it can feels as if i'm praying "Help me serve you, but ignore this part in my life". 

Hebrews 4

(16) Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Every now and again I struggle to come to God with reverence in my emotions.  I know he is sovereign and mighty but it's rarely that I come with assurance or admiration, almost in a way that I doubt he's listening. I'm too reliant on myself and so I should somehow come with bold assurance that I'm not sure how to gain without reading and meditating on scripture. 

Hebrews 3

(2) He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God’s house. (3) Jesus has been found worthy of greater honour than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honour than the house itself.
I question my intentions sometimes. Discipleship training with Matt benefits me as he's someone in Church authority who'm I am connected to. This gives social security so it begs the question, am I seeking the benefits of Christian living or the sole reason for it? Many people want to take a selfie with the speaker but few wish to open up their Bible, I fall into this category more times than I should.


(12) See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. (13) But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. 
When I continue to harden my heart against what scripture convicts me of, God could leave me to my sin. I neglect fellowship with specific people because of my paranoia however I still read my Bible and attend Church. Just from reading Galatians, most Christians will come to understand how valuable fellowship is. John 15:5 makes clear I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. I can't grow in God if I cut off the opportunities He gives me, so I reckon I'll have to try even harder to deny my fears.

Hebrews 2

(1) We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. 
According to my Biblical knowledge, studying scripture and observing our Christian brethren should be of highest priority. Paying attention would mean that we shouldn't be distracted with what our conscience or critical thinking declares as more truthful or important than what was already provided by God. 

(10) In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered.
Romans 5:3-4 (3) Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; (4) perseverance, character; and character, hope. 
This is made easier to empathise when we suffer our labours with each other.

Hebrews 1

10 He also says,

          "In the beginning, Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the             heavens are the work of your hands."

11       They will perish, but you remain;

           they will all wear out like a garment.

12       You will roll them up like a robe; 

           like a garment they will be changed.

           But you remain the same, and your years will never end.'

Unlike our possessions, our ambitions or even the universe, God and his character never changes. His sovereignty, His love, His wrath, His self glorification and His mercy stays the same. Thus, He is the greatest investment one can ever pursue. This reminds me of the constant times I commit apostasy to my conscience and yet still God is faithful to his promise of forgiveness.

Philemon

(8) Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, (9) yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus
God calls us to self deny our seemingly justified ambitions. And as for reconciliation with others, this means that we re-establish relationships wholeheartedly and not out of obligation. I personally wish I had this self-control in the workplace and several people just agitate me. My hope and prayer is that I put to death my old life and stop being a slave to my pride by being more concerned for the eternal state of the lost. If I act this way more often, then to others this would make my faith and God look attractive. 

Titus 3

3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
There was a period in my life in my Childlike faith and admiration for God came to a standstill as I considered scripture flawed in some aspects. Restrictive. Illogical. Inapplicable. However, to my ignorance I was actually a slave to what my mind and body dictated, never being content with what I had. To a degree, I can stilll somewhat feel depressed or discontent with life but at least I acknowledge that my trials have purpose in them now. The hope of salvation that was bought for me and a spiritual family keeps me going.

9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law,because these are unprofitable and useless
Arguments that are are pointless and un beneficial can destroy Church fellowship, distract us from God and not making us bear fruit.
(To be frank, I'm aware of the importance of this verse but I lack life experience with this subject. I'm not sure if i've ever caught myself in a debate/argument that created dramatic tension or consequences.)

Titus 2

(6) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. (7) In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness

I probably have one of the most unique life groups. We're small in number and majority of us have a age gap of around 10years apart. This leaves a lot of room for different perspectives our generational cultures may differ substantially. More importantly however, the older group has had years of failures and success regarding their spiritual life. This gives opportunity to learn.

9 Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10 and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Saviour attractive.

Businesses lose tens of thousands to millions worth of profit because of employee theft, and unfortunately I'm part of the reason. I don't steal at a dramatic rate anymore but sometimes i'll scab food at the deli for me to eat customers aren't around. And i've given my manager a lot of trouble regarding Cape Town because I used to consistently call off Saturday shifts. This can leave me conflicted as I'm supposed to make my God seem attractive and also keeping missionary commitments at the expense of other peoples misfortune. I pray for discernment that I'll be able to practise my beliefs not just at Church but also in my workplace.

Titus 1

7 Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. 8 Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled,upright, holy and disciplined.
What God cares most for isn't knowledge or popularity but character. A childlike devotion and sensitivity to God tends to gives a testimony to the rest of the world that you are different. Someone of Church leadership should be no different.

13 This saying is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith 14 and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the merely human commands of those who reject the truth. 
This gives us more reason to invest in our understanding of the Scripture. Not everyone who preaches incorrect theology have ill intentions as some of them are genuinely oblivious. Rebuking them in a personal setting tends to be the most effective way as it allows them to self reflect and repent without humiliation. The ability recognise and discern perverted gospel is of major importance as we must always be on the lookout for those who empathise their own glory.

2 Timothy 4

(2) Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. (3) For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
Rushing into any given situation without proper knowledge of the scriptures can be spiritually dangerous, as we tend to twist scripture to our own ideals based on what we find morally justified. By studying scripture this helps us to rely on God rather than our own limited understanding. For me personally I was supporting marriage equality and pro-choice because I was allowed my mind to be influenced from people who claimed to know and understand scripture. However scriptural studying helped me to discern false teaching from Biblical truth.

2 Timothy 3

15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.  

• Despite being raised by God fearing parents, it somehow took me 19 years to finally accept the gospel in my mind. I had almost lost my faith three times and so my hope and prayer is that I would imitate Christ both in my actions and my words for my descendants. 

(16) All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, (17) so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

• the bible is a safeguard against false teaching
• points out our transgressions and so we can know God's standards
• a truly wise person would understand that scripture is eternal and 100% reliable and thus is the best investment we have in this life

2 Timothy 2

(3) Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

• Paul lets the early christians know very early in Church history that suffering is not just become expected, but also necessary in growth.
• i guess i should view that suffering is worthwhile since God has allowed it to take place. it is up to me how i can use this situation to edify the higher cause or myself??? 

(13) if we are faithless
        he remains faithful,
        for he cannot disown himself.

• Unlike ourselves, God is faithful in everything he does. Nothing he does goes against his own character. 
• i can feel like I take advantage of this, indulging myself in sin knowing that God forgives since he always keeps his promises???

(22) Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

• this helps lessen the guilt of leaving people behind
• i can see somewhat improvement. even if i've improved just slightly with my behaviour my mentality has changed.
• as i'm spending more and more time with people of Godly character, my words have become less and less hedonistic 
• i've become more sensitive to the gospel

2 Timothy 1

(3) I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers.

• Clear conscious referring to Paul's reliance on God???
• Prayers for others can help give us a mindset based upon an eternal perspective. 

12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.
Paul didn't complain or drown himself in self pity because he was fully convinced God put him in specific circumstances for a purpose.

1 Timothy 6

(1) All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered.
As I read this, I'm reminded of another verse several books earlier. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favour, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord -Colossians 3:22. Reading Paul's missionary journey back and forth consistently points out that there is nothing more urgent than God his children to prevent others from the condemnation we all deserve. I completely agree with this however I also feel a sense of guilt with my workplace performance. For the sake of Cape Town I consistently put my manager under stress due to me cancelling shifts. I consider it a miracle that I haven't been fired as anyone who takes their management position seriously would have fired me a long time ago. Because of all this trouble, I feel like i'm not representing Christ to my peers. My hope and prayer is that I'll persevere and live publicly for him as abundantly as I can in every aspect of my life, not just at Church. 

(8) But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. (9) Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction
Australia is a land of opportunity. I'm have access to clean water, religious freedom, a liveable wage and knowing that I'm saved from my sin, yet I'm not content with these blessings. I don't consider myself a flexer but fashion has always been very important growing up as people at school would show of their Jordans/Nike Tns and show off the fresh cut they got every 2 weeks. Just how Ecclesiastes points out quite frequently, these are worthless and temporary forms of satisfaction that do not last, I believe in the gospel, I believe in Jesus and yet i fail to put this knowledge into mentality. This is struggle i'll eventually have to get over, 

1 Timothy 5

(17) The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honour,especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. (18) For Scripture says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,” and “The worker deserves his wages.”
Preaching is just as active as it is vocal. These men and women of Church authority have accepted the responsibility of proclaiming and translating scripture in a way the congregation can understand. The high standard they commit themselves is undeniably draining and so it is of major importance that we support their financial and mental needs.  At this stage of my life i'm currently going through a financial struggle due to the mission trip, and thus I find it nearly impossible to pass up tithes on Sundays. It is my goal for next year to be able to fulfil my duties financially as I feel a sense of inefficiency and guilt when I find out that the EM congregation isn't offering up with our money to a healthy standard.  

1 Timothy 4

7 Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
Just like physical training is detrimental to the improvement of an athlete, so is my practice of faith. Since becoming more social at Cheil, my prayers have been less and less extensive and much rather rushed. I'm ceebs. This verse is definitely a warning to me as the gifts that come with my relationship with Jesus  could eventually diminish if not being practised. My talents are improved upon exercise, but failing to use them could cripple Cheil as I wish to be an efficient part of Christ's body. 

1 Timothy 3

(1) Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.

I often make comparisons with Cheil and my previous Church and think how stupid it is that fresh High School graduates were selected as youth leaders. As I read on Paul's missionary journey I'm reminded of the impossibly high standards he held himself accountable to which in turn made him the greatest missionary God ever used. As I reflect back on myself, i'm still so tainted with my thoughts of materialistic ambitions and women and I know for a fact that God isn't my top priority. And so if I expect to put in a position of leadership then I have to allow my faith to be built on a solid foundation in Christian living and knowledge.

14 Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, 15 if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.
When I didn't study scripture I would often twist the Bible to suite my own personal agenda because I've allowed the worlds logic to change my perception of God and what he expects from me. The Bible is was written by men who were divinely inspired from God and so it must be taken as my highest authority and studied more seriously then other knowledgable works that comes from our limited understanding. 

1 Timothy 2

5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time. 
People who generally don't study their Bibles have the possibility of adapting a misconception about their relationship with Jesus. Two years ago, I believed God wanted me to aspire towards my own contentment and that putting Him as 2nd or 3rd place was perfectly fine. I used critical thinking and common sense to justify my incorrect theology, reality was that I was my own God. If I serve Jesus then I submit to his teachings and not my own whether it makes me uncomfortable or not. It's verses like these that make me so grateful to own a study Bible to correct my feeble mind. John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"

1 Timothy 1

15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 

Understanding my worth from a scriptural understanding is one that is what I aspire towards but is confronting to follow through with actions. God's family includes those of all sinful pasts including the murderers, rapists, con-artist etc. This reminds me that even though I am set apart, I am not entitled to any special treatment for self indulgence in my actions or mentality. 

He who is most deeply abased and alarmed, by the consciousness of his disgrace, nakedness, want ,and misery has made the greatest progress in the knowledge of himself - Jean Calvin

2 Thessalonians 3

(11) We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. (12) Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat.
Sometimes I can get so caught up in my self-hatred that I push everyone away and enter a stage of isolation that can either be short or long lasting. This can prevent my spiritual growth and possibly discourage the people around me. While there is a period this year in which I believe progress was made in my spiritual journey, this type of activity should not be continuous. If I am part of the body of Christ then I am supposed to contribute to the Church whether it be prayers or spiritual gifts, and I won't be very effective for God's kingdom if I continue to separate myself from people.

2 Thessalonians 2

10 and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved.11 For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie 12 and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.
I'm reminded again. Why am I predestined for the eternal exaltation of God's glory while the purpose of most others is to suffer unceasing anguish? I'm just as discontent and a feeble-minded as everyone else and yet God pulls be back to him without me having a say in it. I will never be able to comprehend his logic defying will such as this but I can take comfort in His son's words Matthew 11 (28) Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (29) Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

2 Thessalonians 1

5 All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.
Like most people, I don't look forward to uncomfortable lifestyles that could potentially fall into social rejection. It's no secret among Christians that if we truly live out our faith and are vocal about the gospel we will face some form of persecution. And yet, I should find some reassurance in my suffering as I understand that everything that takes place is predestined by God to achieve his marvellous plan. Rather than focusing how unfair life is I should pay attention to how I can use a particular situation to glorify God. Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5

(9) For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. (10) He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. (11) Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Pride and self reliance is my greatness enemy. I tend to look down on myself and believe my issues to be too abnormal or trivial for other people to comprehend. I might be quick to encourage others but i'm never accepting of it vice versa since there's nothing genuine for me to be encouraged of. Small steps of trust and loving others more than myself is obvious but I'm unaware of any practical steps. Galatians 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.