Hebrews 6

(10) God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
It feels as if my life has been a consistent cycle of cutting and re-attaching myself to the true vine. One moment I am bearing fruit but for reason that I am to blame or not my life can turn for the worse, even then i'll persevere. I'll eventually develop an attitude in which I become frustrated at the silence of God. It's in these moments I'll reflect back in a pivotal scene from the movie 'Silence' as our main character is at his most broken state.

Father Sebastião Rodrigues: Lord, I fought against your silence

Voice of Jesus: [voice over] I suffered beside you. I was never silent

Father Sebastião Rodrigues: But even if God had been silent my whole life, to this very day, every I do, everything I've done...Speaks of Him
[pause]
It was in the Silence that I heard Your voice.

I guess I am myself to blame because it's only been very recent in which i'll share my spiritual battles with others, so at least I have some form of support now?