1 Corinthians 7

I would never have expected it to be a sin to not sexually satisfy my spouse from abstain lol. Unless it be for the purpose of mutual agreement such as fasting etc. My body don't belong to me but rather God's and He wants me to sexually satisfy my wife. Deprivation of this could lead to temptation to both. Right now, that would mean for me to abstain from anything that would stumble my sexual purity. Don't rewatch the first 2 seasons of GoT etc. 

Marriage is Holy. It's so Holy that it's even discouraged to divorce an unbeliever unless for very specific circumstances. 

I've thought about lifelong abstinence, possibly even considered it a couple times. Those I love are heading to hell, I don't want guilt to overshadow my consciousness telling myself I could have done more if I was single. If I remain single I'll have less distractions and more time to serve God, that sounds nice. But if I continue to burn and struggle with passion, it's better that I not cave in to sin so I should marry. Idk what will happen since my life does not belong to me, but I hope and trust that I submit to what God calls me to. Tbh I can watch more movies if I'm single lol

Prayer/repentance:
- Women are trash, don't rely on them lol
- Run away from sexual impurity, cut off my right hand if it causes me to stumble
- Help build up scy from the little I'm able to do
- Help out mission team. Grow them
- Be a good steward, don't forsake my studies
- Help me love my lg, stop attending for obligatory motives