Leadership Pain with Sam Chand Day 4

Galatians 6:1-10
Hebrews 10:19-25
1 Corinthians 12:12-26

It's very difficult (if not impossible) to go far in ministry if I do not have people I can rely on however I have many things I'm ashamed of, things I'm too scared to tell people and I'm crippled when i hide them. Hidden sin is destructive and from learning from scripture Galatians 6:8, never leads to lasting results.

Prayer/response:
- put my identity in christ above all else, not social status or worldly security
- reach out to more people at Tafe
- be more focused in bible study

Leadership Pain With Sam Chand Day 3

John 21
1 Peter 2:9-10

The pain in my life can only be conquered if my gratitude for God is deepened. In a Church context, bitterness is huge for me and I have yet to overcome this. I really want to because I don't want to worship myself but rather align myself with God's interests. John 21: 15-17 indicates that it is one thing to claim love for God and another to genuinely function in the body of Christ. If I do aspire to love God (aligning my interests along His) then I must acknowledge and throw away my entitlements. If I get hurt because of my attempts to please God in ministry rather than stay complacent in my own security then Jesus is glorified nonetheless.

"When we sense the overwhelming privilege of being God’s children, and the wonderful privilege of being called by him to care for those Jesus died for, we have a very different view of pain, whatever its case. Exhaustion, entitlement, and self-pity erode our threshold of pain, but a fresh sense of the privilege of grace raises it to the skies. And with that, we’re secure. And with that, we can endure."  - Sam Chand

Prayer/response:
- Love Cheil but love God more
- Adapt a discerning mind and loving heart. Help me lead people to Christ NOW rather than waiting for the job
- Pray for Lucas. Lord, break my heart for him. Help me love him like you love me. May he find necessity in you. Help him soften his heart with his dad. 
- Gloria can continue to serve and improve on her reliance in you in ministry. May she continue growing in Vision Team and afterwards
- Pray for Vision Team. Please keep them reliant on you, soften their heart to Cape Town. May Cape Town know you!

Leadership Pain with Sam Chand Day 2

Luke 14
1 Peter 5
Micah 6

I do not want to be a church leader. It's too much responsibility dealing with adult problems when I can't even deal with my own very successfully, at least in my own eyes. The biggest issue by far is that I have lack of love, which initially made me feel inadequate to consider church leadership.  I say this because Paul write that we must serve God's flock because we are willing, not because it's a job.
I lack in so many ways in which Paul would credit to an effective elder, but I am convinced I'm leading at least some people in the right direction. If I can identity things I can improve on it would be love, speech and forgiveness. I can never perfectly fulfill my role diligently but I take some hope in that as no matter how skilled God's people were He frequently made them increasingly rely on Him before sending them out. I have no idea how God's going to humble me but I take hope in this quote from A.W. Tozer "It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply."

Leadership Pain with Sam Chand Day 1

Isaiah 43: 1-2
James 1:2-18
1 Peter 4:12-13

Growth = Pain

James 1:2-3 is all too familiar with me. We can actually profit from hurt, Church is made up of broken people so I will be disappointed inevitably. I think that those who disappoint/hurt me are even more rejoiced in my eyes when they repent than if they never did wrong. Since christianity is all about reconciled relationships, the knowledge of a fellow Christian brother or sister repenting in sincerity is more than any reason to celebrate. I can even rejoice in my suffering in the knowledge that God has placed me in this place according to a purpose.

Learning to be Content Day 3

Psalm 116:1
Psalm 34:8
1 John 4: 18-20

The novel "Silence" written by Shusaka Endo (later adapted into a 2016 film) deals with the subject of its own title. The main character Rodrigues experiences a personal crisis of faith as he deals with the lack of action/silence of God while his Catholic brethren are tortured and martyred. He wrestles with God "where is your intervention? where is your faithfulness? have your people not proved you enough? It's not until near the conclusion in which Rodrigues is brought to a closer understanding of God. Maybe something more protestant??? Jesus lived in obedience to His father and yet still suffered. This reveals to Rodrigues that God understands suffering just as much as he does and that despite His sovereignty and immense glory also suffers alongside His followers. 

Both the book and film are deeply personal to me and I figured my personal intake encapsulates these 3 verses. It's difficult to love others and sometimes difficult to love God because of His apparent distance and silence. But He sent His son who lived, suffered and died. He knows and understands my insecurities and pain. So when I rebel or place contentment in earthly values, I can furthermore comprehend the enormity of the forgiveness offered. For this i'm reaffirmed that God is good beyond my understanding.

Prayer/response:
- put my identity in Christ
- acknowledge the purpose of my past and stop seeing it as a loss
- Be a responsible drinker, do not stumble potential believer. May I truly represent Christ to Jasmine and her friends

Learning to be Content Day 2

Psalm 56
Ephesians 3:20
Romans 15:4

Judging from Romans 15:4 I wouldn't have come to the conclusion that what David had to endure before he became King was meaningless. I'd be confident to say that God was training David to be reliant on Him way before he was crowned. King David wasn't perfect but he was kept himself reliant on God throughout his life. This was made clear in the final verse of Psalm 59 "my God on whom I can rely". I hope and pray for this type of longing for God. David wasn't praying to God because he wanted convenience, he prayed to God because he had faith that God would be faithful to His promise. I've read the Bible in it's entirety twice from back to front and God's character has never changed, He has always been astoundingly jealous and faithful to those He loves. Now for me I hope there'd be a fear put inside me that the one who I worship is jealous, this is even more reason me for to come running to Him. 

Prayer/repentance:
- I cast aside my idols to focus on God diligently
- Be content with my place in God's kingdom even if I may not currently be joyful in it
- Instill a fear inside the hearts of the Vision team. Let them worship you wholeheartedly and grow in love for Cape Town.

Learning to be Content Day 1

John 6:35
John 7:37-38
Psalm 34:8

Psalm 34:8 "taste and see that the Lord is good". When I was was lukewarm, I knew that Jesus was some cool guy who died for my transgressions but when I became a Christian I learnt that my transgressions were a pretty big deal. My hope and urgency wasn't so significant because my understanding of depravity was poor so as I grew in knowledge I came to comprehend how good of a God I worship is. Now saying that, despite me knowing full well of God's goodness I'm frustrated that I can care and worry about so many things other than God.  On top of this, I can quench urges that are not of God. Struggling with lust, I'll overcome it because I feel like a disappointment to Cheil rather than a disappointment to God. I evangelise because I focus more on other people going to hell rather than because I want them to have joy in God. I should be resorting to Jesus, not my worlds methods!

Prayer/repentance:
- i don't take my bible or Jesus sacrifice for granted. I talk, speak and think in a way that imitates God's existence in my life
- help Sylvia adjust her devotionals healthily
- I stay focused with devotionals, stop getting distracted