Leadership Pain with Sam Chand Day 2

Luke 14
1 Peter 5
Micah 6

I do not want to be a church leader. It's too much responsibility dealing with adult problems when I can't even deal with my own very successfully, at least in my own eyes. The biggest issue by far is that I have lack of love, which initially made me feel inadequate to consider church leadership.  I say this because Paul write that we must serve God's flock because we are willing, not because it's a job.
I lack in so many ways in which Paul would credit to an effective elder, but I am convinced I'm leading at least some people in the right direction. If I can identity things I can improve on it would be love, speech and forgiveness. I can never perfectly fulfill my role diligently but I take some hope in that as no matter how skilled God's people were He frequently made them increasingly rely on Him before sending them out. I have no idea how God's going to humble me but I take hope in this quote from A.W. Tozer "It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply."