Overcoming Temptation Day 3

Jude 1:20-21
2 Peter 3:9-12
Hebrews 9:28

Bible reading has been such a struggle this week in a way that's never happened before. I hope that I can get myself back up on my feet. Although God does not forsake His children I am frustrated with the constant secular distractions that drag me away from Him. I ask Him frequently why it's taking me so long to mature in certain areas, sexual sin and bitterness is huge. Idk how much it will cost me, but I don't think I'll be able to completely surrender myself unless I am overcome with the blood of the lamb. My faith is too melancholy, i'm focused too much on the reality of hell and not too much the joy of Jesus. How long will these trials go for? Idk. Idk. Idk. All I can do is pray and try to live as Christlike as my broken nature allows me to be. 

I'm sorry Jesus