John 14

John 14
verse 5-6: this verse is thrown around so much usually in context to combat legalism and catholic ideology, but how often do I really put this into practise? Is Jesus the centre of my life? Or belonging? Bitches? Gucci? The later two I've settled down with but the first one im scared like crap.  I'm terrified of being alone and so I have an attachment to people (kinda ironic cause I'm bad at maintaining relationships at my church rip). I guess what I'm implying is that it would be hard to give up my belonging for Jesus but community isn't what saves me. It might certainly help but Cheil is only a tool that God uses in my life to spread the news of salvation, but it's not Cheil that qualities me but grace. This is both comforting and scary, knowing that I'm safe in God's provision but that others can spend their whole lives attending church, being confident that they're saved while being oblivious that they love Cheil and not God. A love of God and a love of His bride can be often be confused.

verse 12-14: It used to be somewhat difficult for me to pray as I used to never read my bible, I prayed for everything in convinience. However as I've come to understand scripture more and more, my interests became aligned with God's and I prayed that His will be done. I've been praying to be used by God rather than to have a stable and comfortable life. I still remember the words that kept going on repeat in my head as we stepped on South African soil "Lord, please use me." God has never neglected the prayers of His children, and because I have an urge whether it be big or small for God's will to be done I know He will grant my prayers