Luke 18

This passage of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector has to be one of the most foundational stories about christian character. I was reminded of another passage as I repeated the tax collectors plea in my head. The contrast is unsubtle.

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me a sinner.’ - Luke 18:13

Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant, that you should should notice a dead dog like me?” - Samuel 9:8

Self righteousness is dangerous as it always leads to pride. I will never be able to comprehend the punishment that I get to avoid and how much I deserve it. I have ruined relationships, lied, cheated etc. However even though I consider myself a “dead dog”, I struggle to not let this mentality to lead to self hatred. I find myself usually bleak in working for the Lord as a lot of my effort into the Great Commision I do is in spite of hell, not gratefulness or ecstatic joy in God. Self hatred might be Idol, possibly, but I pray that I imitate in my thoughts that Calvary covers all my insecurities and failures. Praise Him.

2 Samuel 7

Dad was one to have shed countless blood being a thorn in the philistines thigh. God gave his enemies into his hands and saw him as a righteous man. And yet, God did not want to his temple to be built by such a man. This honourable task would have increased David's reputation as an effective warrior and yet he was contempt with the position God had given him. Instead of building the temple David made plans and collected the materials so that the next in line would work on it. Sometimes when God says no to our plans we should utilize the other opportunities he gives us. I hope that sooner rather than later I can accept my part in God's plan/family and not try go beyond it.

Luke 17

Luke 17
Sorry to everyone. I feel asleep halfway doing this. I was reminded the extreme responsibility of church leadership. Jesus warns us about God's wrath to those who manipulate or abuse their position in either church or the scriptures. This applies heavily to me wanting to be a Youth leader since youth are easily influenced by what they find attractive. This might mean I have to refrain myself from things such as talk about GoT or not take out senior students for Shisha. What I'm most concerned about is if I'm my profanity will cease. I will have to labour in the scriptures daily to keep myself accountable and top of dying to myself when a student I don't love needs caring for. My God I hope I don't cause them to stumble like I was.

1 Samuel 20

Wallah I wish I had more relationships like David and Jonathan. They had love and loyalty for each other but more importantly those aspects was centred around God. Jonathan knowing that it was in God's sovereign plan that David would be King still actively love and support him is the type of loyalty any Christian should aspire for. How often are my relationships based upon a hedonistic past or stupid banter? Improvements have been made I reckon, but I'm still much more a lover of people than of God. This goes back to my idol of belonging. Still, I trust that God has blessed me with resources to grow in more in diligent love. I just need to persist initiative.

Luke 16

I'm grateful that I have a more than a decent paycheck unlike last year. I've been able to give more tithes, buy study bibles, shout people food and buy decent clothes. Although these are good they can also be gateways into growing in pride and reliance on material wealth. So far I believe I've made a good mental composure, I always thank God for my privilage and acknowledge him as my ultimate provider. However, at what point do I start thanking God for material wealth so much to the point in which that I identify comfortability as God's only blessing. What about those who pray for me? What about Matthew going North Korea to use his God given gifts to educate people on business? These I need to identity more of, and as I identify them a new and increased persistence to give back what God has blessed me with. The blessings may be mine but they are also mine to use with the intention of genuine service of thanksgiving.

The Gospel of Mark Day 2

Just like the seed in the thorny bush I can start with a good foundation (soil) but eventually get choked up. How easy is it to read scripture, reflect and pray to God without the intention of obeying? It's so easy for myself to call out the deceitfulness of the world while still clinging onto its security. My days can sometimes get so packed with materialistic pursuits that it overcrowds God's word and I become unfruitful for Him even when I want to. In order for my life to show results I needed to consistently stay attached to the vine (John 15), as one cannot bear fruit if I cut myself off. I need to remember that it is only God who can soften my hardened heart rather than my own works. This is why theology and expository preaching is so important!

The Gospel of Mark Day 1

I'm just reminded of the sovereignty of God. Just like the paralysed man I am someone who craves earthly relief and comfort. I remember when I prayed for years that God would deliver me from the comfort of bad people into a good christian community. But rather than giving me fellowship first off, God provided me with a mentor despite still being lonely. It took me a while to figure out that God was always at work in my unsatisfied life, for me to mature in my theology and practice. His grace may be uncomfortable, but it is an eternal investment. Praise Him